18 Things Photographers Say (and what they really mean)

We all know that photography is a technical subject – filled with its own language, vocabulary and jargon.

Sometimes, however, those cryptic sayings can mean something completely different.

Here’s my quick guide to what a lot of photographers say, and what those things really mean… of course, it should be noted that this article is not entirely serious!

Photographer
Photo by Gratisography
  1. I’ve gone for a moody look in this shot: I forgot my second light.
  2. Of course you don’t have a double chin: Or at least you won’t by the time I’ve finished in Photoshop.
  3. I only use natural light: Studio lighting terrifies me.
  4. There’s not enough natural light: I’m not a big fan of flashguns either.
  5. Grain adds a really arty look to this style of photo: I forgot that I’d left my ISO on 3200.
  6. You can take a great photo with any camera: I need a new camera.
  7. I love the look of your photos: Now teach me what you did in post production.
  8. My camera is just a tool: I still have no idea what half the settings on my DSLR do and I really miss the simpler days of film.
  9. DSLRs are so intuitive these days: Making it far too easy for any Tom, Dick or Harry to think they’re a photographer. I still miss film.
  10. Yes, the venue does look beautiful only lit by candles: I’ve seen more light in a cave – how on earth do you expect me to get any shots in here?
  11. I really don’t see the point of the extra stops in the f2.8 version of this lens – f4 covers all my needs: Unless I win the lottery next week, the f4 version is going to have to do just fine.
  12. Just try and relax: Please don’t make me resort to telling one of my bad jokes – especially as there’s a risk I’ll forget the punchline.
  13. I’m not interested in making money – photography is an art form: I’ve just graduated from art school.
  14. I try to treat Photoshop like a digital darkroom: I still have no idea what half the tools in Photoshop are for and yes, I’m still missing film.
  15. The light’s all wrong: I really can’t be bothered with the amount of complexity it’s going to take to set up this shot.
  16. I’ll fix that later: Because I totally failed to notice the bin right in the corner of the shot.
  17. A real photographer gets everything right in camera: But I’m not averse to fixing things in Photoshop if I have to. Just don’t tell anyone.
  18. No, I’m afraid I can’t do your shoot for $50: You pay peanuts, you get a monkey…

Have you heard other similar things said by fellow photographers?

Please take a minute to share them with us on Twitter or Facebook.

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