If you’ve worked as a photographer for any length of time, chances are you’ll have heard a few of these gems over the years. Of course, I should stress that this piece is meant in a light-hearted way – particularly as most of my clients are an absolute delight to work with!

Most of these, heard by both myself and photographer friends, are from people we sensibly decided not to work with in the first place… 🙂

‘You have a really great camera’

Never mind the years we spent studying photography, learning about all the technical aspects and honing our ‘eye’ for a shot. It turns out it’s all just down to using a nice camera!

‘Can you make me look 10 years younger / 10 pounds slimmer?’

Well, for starters, it does help if anyone looking at your photograph can recognise you! And secondly, whilst we’re good, we’re not miracle workers!

‘My uncle / friend / 2nd cousin once removed can shoot my wedding’

Good luck with getting great photos once your relative has consumed the free wine! More seriously, you may find that just because the person has got a good camera, it doesn’t necessarily mean they can actually take great shots.

‘Someone else says they can do it cheaper’

As the old saying goes, you get what you pay for! Of course, all pro photographers charge different rates but if someone’s offering to do a full day shoot for £50, chances are that they don’t necessarily know what they’re doing. We’re happy to negotiate but in reason!

‘Can you do the shoot for the price you quoted, but throw in all the photos and some free wall canvases?’

Wall canvases cost money. Our shots cost money. We charge a reasonable and sensible amount for our shoots, but we can’t afford to give away all the profit on products!

‘Can you remove the watermark on your online gallery so I can use the photos on my site’

Yes, of course I can. Once you’ve paid the money for the licence.

‘I only want one or two photos, so can you give me a much cheaper price for the shoot?’

Unfortunately, we still need to bring all our equipment, set up our lights and take a selection of photos for you to choose from. Meaning that we’re still spending the same amount of time on a shoot whether you want one photo or ten.

‘We want to do something really wacky!’

Normally said by corporate clients. N.B. – ‘wacky’ usually means that they’d like a grey background instead of a white one.

‘Can you just take some pictures at my wedding?’

Normally said when you’ve only been invited to a wedding because someone knows you’re a photographer. And the bride / groom certainly won’t be offering any money for the job!

‘It will be great for your portfolio’

You wouldn’t walk into a shop and take goods for free, whilst promising the owner that you’ll get them great ‘exposure’ by raving about them to your friends! And it’s no different for photographers. Remember, exposure doesn’t pay the bills or keep us fed and watered!

I’m sure most pro photographers will be able to add many more to this list! Happy shooting…